


The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You (Say Goodbye Today)

by whatsdunisdun



Series: Unrelated Joshler One Shots [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, HAPPY ENDING!!, I promise everything ends up okay, Josh just cares lots about Tyler, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsdunisdun/pseuds/whatsdunisdun
Summary: “You’re afraid of heights.” His voice sounded concerned and questioning, and Josh let out a sob at the statement.After squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath, Josh turned to look at the other boy.“I’m far more afraid of losing you.”[Really big and important trigger warning! This whole oneshot is about Ty's suicidal thoughts/ suicide attempt so please be careful!]





	The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You (Say Goodbye Today)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back after many months! I actually wrote this one a very long time ago and I'm still not entirely happy with it but it's never going to get any better so I figure I'll just post it.  
> I'm working on a chapter fic at the moment, but if you have any requests for a oneshot or any ideas at all, I'd be really happy to see what I can do!! I need inspiration for real (and I don't mind what ship!!).  
> Make sure you've read the TW above, and take care!! Enjoy <3

Josh was shaking as he stepped cautiously onto the rooftop, but he knew it wasn't the freezing wind that was causing it. As he got closer to the distant silhouette perched on the ledge, it became more distinct.

He was about 20 feet away when he could perfectly make out Tyler’s figure, though he reminded himself he already knew that Tyler was out here - that was why he’d risked the journey. Somehow, despite knowing this, it shocked him to see Tyler standing only an inch away from the 100 foot drop, and Josh’s body struggled to remain upright as he felt the air knocked out of him at this revelation.

Slowly, making sure he didn’t startle Tyler, Josh made his way to where the other boy was standing, keeping a distance to the side so that he could attempt to reason with Tyler. When he was finally standing only three feet to Tyler’s side, Josh stopped to take a deep breath and try to control his shaking. He was now also standing incredibly close to the ledge of the apartment building they both lived in, but he tried (and failed) not to think about it.

He realised there were warm tears sliding down his own cheeks rapidly, and if it weren’t for his complete numbness to the cold at that given time, his face probably would have been freezing from the gusts of wind attacking the tears.

He took a moment to study the other boy - Tyler was simply staring straight down at the strip of concrete below the building, his body entirely frozen still. He wasn’t crying, Josh noticed - he didn’t even have any emotions visible on his face. Josh knew this was a bad sign - he’d seen Tyler at his worst, and even that didn’t compare to this. Josh had no idea what to do, and nothing inside his brain or his body was working. Without even thinking about it, he reached out and silently grabbed onto the other boy’s hand, allowing his own gaze to drift towards the ground too.

Tyler’s hand was cold and felt lifeless, but Josh held on like his life depended on it - because it did. Though he didn’t want to think about it, he knew that if Tyler was startled into jumping, Josh would fall with him. He also knew that the pain of falling would be far less than the pain of Tyler falling alone and leaving Josh behind.

Tyler didn’t react to Josh’s warm hand being slipped into his own, but he didn’t pull away or make any sudden movements. Without moving his gaze from the concrete path below, he stuttered out a barely audible “You’re afraid of heights.” His voice sounded concerned and questioning, and Josh let out a sob at the statement. 

After squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath, Josh turned to look at the other boy. 

“I’m far more afraid of losing you.”

Tyler finally looked up, emotions running into his face. He looked into Josh’s eyes with utter despair, and a single tear fell from his eye. 

“I’m so sorry.”

His voice cracked as he spoke, and his tears turned into full blown sobs.

Josh wanted to pull Tyler into his arms and hold him tightly, he wanted to protect him from the world. But he knew the world Tyler was battling with was the one inside his head, and Josh felt helpless by his side. 

Tyler’s shoulders were shaking from the sobs, and Josh could swear he could _feel_ him gravitating closer to the ledge. 

“Please, Tyler.” 

He begged desperately. 

Tyler glanced down again, and then back up and into Josh’s eyes. He shook his head gently, and in that moment he communicated everything he needed to say through simply the look on his face, and Josh understood it all. 

How he felt he had no purpose. How no one wanted him there - how he was simply a burden. How he knew it would make no difference if he left. 

How he knew that nobody needed him. 

How he knew that nobody loved him. 

“But _I_ do!” Josh yelled, sincerity radiating off his voice.

“ _I_ need you, Tyler, I love you!” His voice cracked on the word love, and he started to shake his head rapidly, back and forth. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!” He screamed with everything he had. 

He paused to look at Tyler through the sheet of his own tears, and was met with the sight of Tyler staring intently at the ground below them, with a fierce look on his face Josh had never seen before. 

Tyler quietly but distinctly whispered four words, before quickly looking back up to Josh:  
“I love you too.”

Before Josh knew what was happening, Tyler’s arms were wrapped around him, and the other boy was sobbing violently, each sob making him shudder. The two boys were backing away from the ledge, being led by Tyler, but remaining attached to each other - their arms wrapped around each other, holding on with everything they had, Tyler’s head buried in Josh’s shoulder, both boys crying their eyes out. 

They remained like that for an immeasurable period of time, and when they finally pulled apart, Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand, never wanting to let go of him for the rest of their lives.  
Neither knew what to say, but the brief moment of eye contact they held expressed everything they needed to communicate.  
And right then, they both knew, if even for just a second; they’d be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any feedback, kudos, requests or other comments are greatly appreciated!  
> I hope you have a fantastic day :) |-/
> 
> (Also hope you're all surviving Official Day One of the hiatus thus far! We're all in this together)


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